not acting

Thursday, August 31, 2006 Thursday, August 31, 2006

today's teachers day concert.
what i can say is it was a mess.
everyone was kinda busy
and people seemed to be so relaxed.
they kept on telling me that nothing will happen
and stuffs.

am i thinking too much?
but things actually happened.
me running like mad.
said things that i shoudn't have said.
and i don't know what to do now.
then..
hais don't know what to say now.

after that i totally got no mood in meeting my primary school friends.
i tried to think but there was nothing in my mind.
then i hurt huda and friends.
i feel that i'm a bad person.

but i'm fine now.
it was all over and i'll forget about it.
walked back to primary sch.
saw many friends.
and teachers seemed to be forgotten us.
whatever
they have many students to teach.
~~~

okay.
heres the funniest part.
had some kind of buffet and there came an uncle.
a uncle with lots of boxes for packing food and plastic bags.
and people was like laughing like crazy.
without me saying,
you know what hes gonna do next.
haha
it was hilarious la.

for those who i had said something wrong to them,
and i have hurt badly
i'm so sorry.

Saturday, August 19, 2006 Saturday, August 19, 2006

what exactly do you want?
i cannot understand it at all.

since when you think about me?
whenever you guys are in a group and like all together,
since when one of you mention about me?
right here i'm not being jealous or attention seeking. whatever you say i don't care.
but i just think that you guys only include me when YOU NEED a helping hand urgently.
what you take me for?
IMMEDIATE HELPER??
or rather what you called
FRIENDS?
sometimes you made me doubt your sincerity.

whatever you say is all crap what shit.
what in fairness is all fake.
you may ask your friends that if you all are fair.
but in my perspective, let me tell you its not.
seriously you think you are good.
if thats the case then i really have nothing to say.

i had tried to change already.
perhaps you are too involved in your own COMMUNITY
and left me out.
i don't know what is happenning between me and you.
you always try to make others the best one.
thanks i really appreciate that.
i really do.
what about me?
anyone knows the things that are done by me and concern about you all?
let me tell you the answer is no.
but what about you?
what have you done?

sometimes this really made me ponder for the whole day.
but i told myself, whatever you say. i will always remember.
everything will be remembered.
just like a dented can.
you can't possibly reshape the whole can again.
it is already damaged as well as dead.

so many question.
i'm not going to ask again.
i had asked and i seemed to be invisible.
i'm ignored.
totally ignored.
i'm like a bird with wings but cannot fly.